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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26700454">whatever a sun will always sing</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinyjet7/pseuds/tinyjet7'>tinyjet7</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>higher than soul can hope [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>One Piece</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Gen, Past Child Abuse, Post-Wano Arc (One Piece), Post-Whole Cake Island, references to violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 05:39:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>685</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26700454</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinyjet7/pseuds/tinyjet7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>spending a day as a child brings up some awful memories for sanji. luffy confronts him to make sure he's okay.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Monkey D. Luffy &amp; Vinsmoke Sanji</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>higher than soul can hope [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1943023</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>156</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>whatever a sun will always sing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>i had a panic attack the other day that inspired this. but honestly i just wanted an excuse to write some more interactions between sanji and luffy. coda to <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26363998">the deepest secret nobody knows</a>. intentionally not shippy but in my heart it's definitely sanlu so</p><p>title from [i carry your heart with me(i carry it in] by e.e. cummings</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Luffy sees everything.</p><p>At first, Sanji was surprised at his new captain's keen observations. Luffy didn't seem to care much about anything other than food and adventure. But he notices almost as soon as Nami does when the weather's about to take a turn. Despite shoveling insane amounts of food into his mouth, his palate is almost as discerning as Sanji's. He always has some new game to play just when Usopp and Chopper are starting to miss home. </p><p>After the first time Luffy finds him in the midst of a panic attack, he's glad for it.</p><p>And now, with two years under their belt and dozens of panic attacks later, Luffy is even more keen when it comes to his cook.</p><p>It's an innocuous comment. Usopp doesn't mean anything by it. Some offhand remark about how Sanji is a literal prince, that he doesn't need the crew. </p><p>That maybe he'd be better off making amends with his <em>real</em> family.</p><p>And Sanji jokes back, snide comments about how they wouldn't be able to feed themselves without him there, who's going to save his sorry ass in battle. They laugh it off.</p><p>It's only an instant, the tiniest flinch, the smallest twist of his lips, but Luffy notices. He always notices.</p><p>Usopp and Luffy leave him alone in the galley, but Sanji can still feel his captain's eyes on him.</p><p>His hands tremble. He lights a cigarette.</p><p>Somewhere in the back of his head, Usopp's words echo.</p><p>His real family.</p><p>Usopp wasn't at Whole Cake Island. He didn't see the awful things Sanji did. The things he said to Luffy and Nami. With every step, he feels the soles of his shoes pressing against Luffy's skin. With every drag, he tastes those awful, hateful words on his tongue.</p><p>Is it enough to say he didn't mean it?</p><p>Is it enough to say that he was trying to protect them by pushing them away?</p><p>Luffy forgives him, he always forgives, but one day, will he reach a breaking point? One day, will Sanji say something that will be too much for even Luffy? One day, will Sanji take it one step too far for him to forgive? After all, even Judge had loved him once, didn't he?</p><p>"Sanji."</p><p>He startles at Luffy's voice. He blinks. Luffy's frowning, concerned and crouched in front of him. Sanji is sitting on the floor. His back's pressed uncomfortably against the cabinets. His hands are pulling at the roots of his hair. Luffy slowly reaches out, his eyes on Sanji's, and gently untangles his hands. When he's got both of Sanji's hands in his, he waits for Sanji to squeeze back, for his breathing to slow. When Sanji squeezes his hand, Luffy carefully wraps rubber limbs around his cook.</p><p>"Usopp says he's sorry," Luffy says after a long, quiet moment. "Do you want him to come in and apologize?"</p><p>Sanji shakes his head, staring at the door over Luffy's shoulder. "It's not his fault. I'm just weak."</p><p>"You're not," Luffy whispers fiercely. He squeezes just a bit tighter. "They're wrong, they were always wrong about you."</p><p>He feels safe here, with Luffy stretched around him like a blanket, keeping the world at bay. Tight enough to feel every hitch and shudder that runs through his body. Tight enough to soothe away the uncertainties. Sanji takes a deep breath, then another, scrubbing his face dry. Finally, Luffy unwraps himself and stands, offering Sanji a hand.</p><p>"You're better than they are," Luffy says. His expression is angry but his words are infinitely gentle. "Faster and stronger and you cook better than anyone! And even if you couldn't, I'd still rather have you on my crew than any of them."</p><p>"Thanks, Luffy," Sanji chuckles. </p><p>"So would Usopp! And Nami and Chopper and even Zoro! Even if you couldn't cook or fight," Luffy insists. "You're one of us, you belong here."</p><p>"I get it, I get it," Sanji sighs, bumping his shoulder against Luffy's lightly. Luffy forgives him. He always forgives Sanji. And as long as Luffy keeps forgiving him, he'll stay right where he is.</p>
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